Psalm 119: 9-16

Winter romance

When a man approaches a woman and she doesn't want it
For whatever reason
Either by fame, fortune, self esteem or friendship
She resists and crouches back

When a man wants a woman
He pursues her and evelopes his thoughts in her beauty
He talks to her, encourages her gifts
Seeks her day by day
Embellishing her with talks of life
And even raising the bar of his affections
With a flirtatious discovery of her white bosom

He wanted respect, she wanted love
For whatever reason it could not be given
He would take one step which she would resist
Because she knew he wanted something
That she didn't want to give
Not because he is undeserving
But because of her soul
breath wanting and her undeserving
Why sit in the presence of my bled heart
And watch me willow in the distance
When what I have
I can not give
It is but breakage to my veins
And cracking to your soul
This tempest that I feel
That carried me to the north
It wants to see and can not find
because you are too much like
the past ive seen
the sorrow I've born
Wanting to give and never enough
Wanting to receive and always torn

its a mans world, but a man needs a woma by his side, and it takes a long time to convince her she belongs to him..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU6OU1LJv1E&ob=av2e

In Contemplation

I'm not the malicious one, I didn't stand in your way
I'm not the jealous one, I let you go
I'm not the rebellious type, I do everything right

To those out there that tried to win this fight
What were you thinking?
Because what I think is happening baby
Is they just don't want to let you go
And the world has got you by a string

Why else would they fight, why else?
Think about their reasons, think about their fame
Think about all the moves they made
Use your brain, don't use your heart or your religion

But what is love?; a feeling to have momentatily? a void that is patched up by someones touch? is it a feeling of closeness and genuity? is it an assurance that you cant let go of someone? or does it have a desperate/passionate edge, that one must have in order to live?

another 'feeling' of love i've had is when you 2 people are so alike the other person acts and lives and almost is you at times.
love can be seen as giving of gifts, touch and kind words, that make us feel accepted and desired.
It is most described as a feeling because it is a emotion one gets due to closeness.


But regardless of what aspect of love you have experienced, one has to ask, do any of these attributes of love keep two people together, in a lasting relationship of mutual commitment?
will presents and closeness and even genuineness tie us all together when times get tough??
Or is love a passionate and desperate desire to need someone, without which our living ends? does love require two people to so desperately need each other that nothing can come between them?

We get tired of the presents, closeness, genuity, and maybe the only love that really lasts is one worth fighting for, a dying love, that we fight for desperately.  The same way we need to eat, have breath and need spiritual food through God's word and relationship, we need such a passionate love to live.  Such love requires us to lay down our selfish desires in order to be with someone else, thereby gaining their life and joy. It is a kind of desperate plea for love and live, and giving up ourselves for it.

"My very life depends on him, because right now I don't have it and I am losing the life of his breath" ... Sarah S.

love is a verb

I am not a friend, I am not a foe
I'm just a piece of fibre ready for your desire
I long for your touch, whenever you are near
When you are gone, I count endless days
I don;t count the stars as I count your ways
I pay no notice to your very greed
I long to be touched because it is like wax
Covering my arms, legs, eyes and ears
It's thick and costly and needing more
Without it I can't be ever here

Don't forget the cost I bear
Sitting here, waiting here,
'Til you were ever near
It is surety and pain
It is suffering and guilt
It is knowing what I had lost
Was the cost of my filth
I have carried it long
I had seen it calloused, bruised
From lifetime of shame
Of my own cross to bear

But the awaking came near like a shot in the dark
My ears can hear, eyes see, what has beheld me?
It is a sun so bright his eyes guide the dark
He showers me with rays of light within it
I can run no more, I can dance no longer
My will is to please thee
You shine your light and ther I see
Glistening in the fire
A heart of gladness
Turned from guilt
To a heart contrite of gold

Place within me a new heart
Show me the path of gladness
Raise in me a heart so soft
You can reach out your hand and touch it
So he reached out his hand and touched my heart
Feeling the workings of its deep disguise
What I trie to conceal he held tight in ties
Then came the thunder then came the rain then came the son itself
Flushing his face in the depths of my heart and breaking its within

The breakage ran deep
The collapse led by sap
And followed by a motion of crack
As I lay before him tossing and turning
Wanting to be set free
The cords and the nerves began to depart
The sounds of the cracking bit by bit
And  out came the blackened hardened
Out came the sap guiltridden and dripped
By the moistness from his lips

Not a drop of blood not a fountain of pain
Was left once his hands put it together again
He broke my heart and he tore me apart
That I might live again
As he brought the two pieces together again
The world of my body shook
Until the particles with cords and flesh
Were breathing as whole as its birth

Great Beware!!

Straight at the moon and what did i see

I saw eyes of steel blistering for affection

I see the suns raise gently calloused

wanting more of its sun set

and wanting a sky to change blues

Then I looked deep in my soul

I saw regret, self disdain and freight

Oh where is my soul

How far ye have gone?

And peace was there

So i thought some more

I dreamed some more

And just when I was ready to befall

of regret and bewilderment and remorse

I gathered up the stones of the lost

And separated them one by one

This one is weak

This one is pride

This arrogance

This selfishness

This greed

This myself

And the sign came along

Opening up my collous heart

And I bent the knee in prayer for thee

Then in great reward the next day there arose

A message of great beware!!!

AMEN

My confession

I resent...

Christianity and  the world b/c i hate that I see wrong and am asked to forgive
I hate that I am a servant of the Lord that is beaten and scarred to be the best
I hate all the suffering that comes along with it
I've seen lots of suffering for a girl of meagre timidity
And ask the Lord, who should I be good and suffer loss
I hate that He expects us to turn another cheek
Shouldn't change bring glory in our lives
I hate that I am a person all for nothing
If not for beauty, fame and fortune
I hate that the world is full of greed, malice, disdain and pride
While I sit on my pew being a noble princess
This is what I hate about my Christian life and
This is why I resent the Christian way
I still believe in Christ but I resent the walk.
To carry out my christianity is my struggle today.

life is a beautiful thing. i love you. flowers, meadows, writing, reading, babies, rainbow, crystal and more. add to the list.

Peacock!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILfXM_9m_Ek

"If you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven?" The Bible

For My love

you are my breath;
giving me courage and strength
to be who i want to be;
you say go, i go
you say stop, i stop
you say run and faint not
and i am your lily in fields of gold
swaying like a meadow at your feet
you say how beautiful are thee
and i feel your grasp within my reach
I feel you close and beg for more
you help me run high, you tell me run low
you speak the word and i listen
you see my weaknesses and say go on;
you say I am worthy and I say I am yours.
you are my breath and i am yours.

the song on my heart tonight...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGniRk_GcLs

love you sweety.

sometimes its beauty that brings two together. sometimes its pain. sometimes its knowing that someone is there! that's what makes it beautiful though, becuase then you realize, it's ok to have those good things, b/c it brings you two together, it unified you and gives you a chance at a life you never knew!!!!!

this is good for me, as a lesson, b/c i always wanted to hide the gifts i had, but now i know i can take this beauty and do something good with it, instead of keeping it for myself. that's the day that changed my world; when i knew that beauty helps the world, instead of bringing it down.

so don't diss beautiful women, beautiful art and life, because it can do good things for the world!

love sarah.

healthy life, healthy wife baby!

cant touch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgPDdWirzBA
i dont even work outtttttt...wooooooo.

God's blanket from heaven

this link shows some material significance about the showers from heaven; it is similar to what is happening in the world, where people are free and called to great things for God, due to GOD showering and cleansing them. http://www.christiananswers.net/q-aig/aig-c010.html